Patterns of Love
by gottaLoveLOVE
Summary: "All of those times in school when you see him standing down the hall, and you cannot breathe until you're with him. Or those times in class when you can't stop looking at the clock because you know that he's standing right out there waiting for you. Don't you remember what that's like?" Even when she wasn't around, Allison could help Lydia in the most unexpected ways.


**Hey guys! So, I don't know why I felt like writing this but I had to. I hope you enjoy it**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Teen wolf**

She finds it strange how that feeling wasn't foreign to her, even if she hadn't ever felt it before. Lydia could clinically say she was jealous.

There he was on the hallway, talking to Malia by his locker as the strawberry blond girl watched from afar. It wasn't the first time she felt it, nor the first time she acknowledged it but it was terrible anyway because she liked Malia and she liked Stiles and as their friend, the couple's happiness should be welcomed. It was terrible for the simple fact that jealousy was an uncomfortable feeling to experience. However, as it turned out, it was not the feeling that bothered her the most.

It wasn't jealousy that made her knees weak or her stomach funny, it didn't force her lungs to stop working or her heart to beat so fast and strong that it made her dizzy. The banshee bit her lips and leaned on her locker as she watched Stiles and only Stiles, never minding Malia or anyone else. It hurt; it felt like… like it was a waste of time to stand there far from him.

She hated when he wasn't around. It was curious how his mere presence made her feel calmer and more exhilarated; whenever he was absent Lydia had this unsettling feeling that she needed to move, she needed to go to wherever he was; whenever he wasn't there it felt like everything was bland and grey, nothing was interesting and nothing could get interesting without him. She didn't need to talk to him, or look at him, she just needed to sense that Stiles was near.

Lydia bolted out of the hallway because she hated being near him.

It was paradoxical, illogical and volatile.

She gasped for air as she searched for any empty room she could find. It was the locker room and she didn't mind. She'd do anything to make breathing easier, she'd do anything to stop the hollowness; Whenever he was near, whenever she just looked at him…

She sat on the ground, against the wall and breathed. Inhaled once or twice slowly, profoundly. The girl didn't even realize someone had entered the room until he sat next to her.

"It hurts, doesn't it?" was the first thing Scott chose to say.

She swallowed, and then exhaled sluggishly, avoiding eye contact, "yeah" her whisper was hoarse and weak.

It kinda surprised him that she answered. Seeing Lydia vulnerable never ceased to amaze him. He stared at one of his best friends in the world, the girl that once was the most popular girl on school and that didn't even know his name; the girl who made out with him knowing her best friend was in love with him. The girl who pretended everything was okay while she was breaking down. He watched her while she looked ahead of her, sighing.

"I don't want it." She explained quietly, "it's…" her eyes focused on the floor, as if it would tell her the right words" it feels like-"

"It feels like you cannot breathe until you're with him" he continued and Lydia lifted her head and faced him. Scott stared at her, his voice was steady and low, "it's like every time you see that person down the hall you feel pain, an incredible pain you can't explain. And you can't breathe, you cannot breathe until you're with him. Or her." Scott closed his eyes because it still hurt, it always would. He knew those feelings all too well because of Allison, he knew love all too well.

"You remind me of her", the girl told him.

He opened his eyes and she was smiling lightly at him but her eyes were watery. Lydia smiled because even when Allison was gone she could still hear her. She remembered that day on Allison's car and she cried a little. She thanked that no one is ever gone because everyone is splattered on the people surrounding her, or him.

Scott smiled nostalgically as if he already knew something she had only then discovered, and he probably did. They stood in silence for a while, lost in their thoughts and enjoying each other's company.

Lydia couldn't help but appreciate that Allison taught her how to be friends with someone, how to have friends, specially girlfriends. Which is why everything was worse and better, paradoxically as usual. Kira, Malia and Lydia… they were friends. Good friends. She couldn't ruin that, she couldn't even consider hurting any of them. This single feeling made her so proud of herself, old Lydia wouldn't think twice before stealing any boy she wanted.

And Stiles wasn't just a boy, it wasn't fair to play with his feelings. Everything between them was too meaningful and refreshingly kind, she would never ruin that either. She wouldn't ruin anything that would make him happy. He was her best friend, ironically.

And there it was, her heart beating fast and violent. Scott snapped out of his reverie and turned his head to her. The girl was suddenly uneasy again, taking deep and shaky breaths; fiddling with her fingers and wrinkling her forehead.

"I don't think you should tell him." Scott said, surprisingly. Before Lydia could wonder where his honesty policy went, he continued, "Not right now at least."

She half smiled because she never was going to tell Stiles anyway but once she thought it, it didn't feel honest.

"It won't last." He promised, "I know Stiles and I know Malia and I know you. Whatever is going on between Stiles and Malia, it won't last." His words were secure and never malicious and they made her light-headed.

"What makes you so sure that this will?" Lydia replied, never doubting his statement. He was their alpha; he would never say anything like that lightly. But her feelings? They were inconstant and chaotic. Not to mention Stiles' feelings, which were a mystery those days.

Again, her friend beamed. As if he knew a secret she didn't. "Tell you what" He stood up and held a hand out for her and she took it. "I'm as sure as I'm sure he's your number one on speed dial; I'm as sure as I'm sure he'll sit next to you in English class tomorrow. I'm as sure as I'm sure Stiles will be waiting for you at your locker today after school because you two will study for that chemistry test together and that you'll be waiting for him too."

Scott's words rang in her head as she tried to pay attention to the last class of the day. Stiles had a free period while she had History class. Lydia checked the clock minute after minute, as she usually would whenever that boy was waiting for her.

The strawberry blond girl sighed, this was just an ordinary week and just like any ordinary week, she knew Stiles would be waiting for her. There would always be anticipation and anxiety but never doubt about that fact, that fragile human boy was that constant. However, she hated Scott (and Allison) for being so nauseatingly romantic and turning one ordinary action into an evidence. It felt like they had taught her the rules to a game she had been playing amateurly for too long; there were patterns and logic in something that once seemed completely arbitrary and disordered. All she needed was to make sure they were right.

The bell rang and it set Lydia free to meet Stiles at last. She headed eagerly to her locker, the first thing she saw was a skinny, pale, clumsy and distracted young man leaning against it while watching his own feet. It didn't take long for him to notice she was near, he could feel her company as naturally as she could feel his. When that same guy looked up at her and smiled wholeheartedly, waving his hand endearingly and making her heart and stomach go crazy like they should, she mentally cursed Allison, Scott and then herself. Nevertheless, Lydia smiled back at him.

Maybe it would take some time and maybe more. Maybe it took her too much time and that's why she should give Stiles the same. She didn't worry anymore, because Scott and Allison were right. Maybe the patterns were everywhere and maybe Lydia just didn't distinguish them because they were the only thing to see.

**Thanks for reading! Forgive my misspellings(if there is any), I still haven't found a beta.**

**Don't forget: a few seconds to review, a day of happiness for me :)**


End file.
